• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

The Happy Mrs. Jones

Experiments In Creating Happiness While Battling Depression

  • Start Here!
  • Depression FAQ
  • About Me
  • Mind
    • Not My Monkeys – Creating Boundaries That Work
    • Mindfulness 101: Five Tips to Get You Started
    • 5 Ways to Prevent a Depressive Episode
  • Body
    • The Link Between Dehydration & Depression
    • The Milkshake Meltdown – Is Dairy Causing Your Depression?
  • Soul
    • 6 Ways To Keep Depression From Destroying Your Marriage
    • Is Social Media Making You Sick?
    • The Art of Leaning In
  • Creative Non-fiction
    • It’s No Problem {Creative Non-Fiction}
    • Rising To The Surface {creative non-fiction}
    • A Game for a Life {creative non-fiction}
    • The Only Way Is Through {creative non-fiction}
    • A Gun Like This One {creative non-fiction}

Is Social Media Making You Sick?

January 31, 2019 by thehappymrsjones 4 Comments

Is Social Media Making You Sick?

When I told my friend, Holly, about starting this blog about depression she was surprised.

“I never would have thought you were depressed looking at your Instagram.”

The comment hit me hard. Was I accidentally making my life look perfect?

To be totally honest, my marriage IS pretty much perfect (I know, gross 😉 ) I truly have zero complaints. What Ryan & I have is magic. That doesn’t mean the rest of my life is always like that though.

I’ve always been of the mindset that those closest to me knew my pain. There wasn’t any reason to splash it all over social media. I used my Instagram as a kind of personal journal to highlight everything I wanted to remember…and just skimmed the not-so-glamorous parts.

My inner circle knew about the depression and sadness. Wasn’t that enough?

Turns out they didn’t really know either.

Once, after doing a crisis post-mortem with my best friend, Jenny she poignantly said, “I always find out everything afterwards. It’s like you don’t tell me while it’s happening. You only talk about it when you’ve figured it all out and the drama is over. I want to help you work through this stuff.”

 

What We Post

When I sat down to think about this I realized that it was because I didn’t want to seem like a complainer.

 I am a fixer. I always have been.

I want to show people solutions and skim over the ugly sides. I loved the after photos and ignored the befores.

There’s a running joke in my marriage that I don’t remember things accurately. I always remember them better than they were. I always look at the past – even the parts that break me – with rose-coloured glasses.

This makes learning from my mistakes harder than it needs to be. I guess it also means that my life story is significantly skewed for the general public.

I am a firm believer that you should never call yourself lucky or blessed because it makes the average person feel like they need to be bestowed a special power to succeed.

I’m starting to think though, that you can’t just avoid certain words. You have to show action. You have to show the failures so that you’ve earned the right to show the successes.

Which brings me back to the title of this article.

Is your social media making you sick?

Is it becoming a toxic pill of happiness you’re forced yourself and others to swallow rather than being an accurate portrayal of a life well-lived – bruises and all?  

I’m not talking about those posts people make showing themselves crying or the fake “this is me waking up” shots. I’m talking about celebrating the successes but acknowledging what it took to get there as well.

And if you can’t show that stuff then maybe it’s time to tighten your circle of friends and up your privacy until you DO feel comfortable.

 

Who We Follow

It’s not only what we post that can have negative effects on our psyche.

It’s also who we follow and the stories we see on social media that cause us trouble.

A study done in 2016 shows a correlation between how many social media platforms we use and the amount of anxiety and depression symptoms we experience.

This can be for a variety of reasons including seeing negative stories and feeling like you’re wasting your life (Whoops! That one might have been meant for me).

One of the main reasons, however, is comparing ourselves to other people. What’s that saying? Don’t compare my middle chapter to your beginning? Something like that…

But the truth is that social media isn’t going anywhere. It’s not realistic to cut it off altogether. We need to learn to function in a healthy way in an unhealthy society.

Recently, I decided to take a more active role in the people and stories who find their way to me.

Here’s what I did:

I looked at every single account I follow on Instagram.

At the time, it was close to 700 accounts.

I unfollowed every single account that didn’t bring me joy, growth or laughter. I cut off all the Instagram models that made me feel fat and all the influencers who made me feel like I wasn’t where all the action was. I hate the word FOMO but I guess that’s the best way to describe it.

I also cut out about a million travel bloggers who I felt were misrepresenting their travel experiences. I’ve been to the famous Nusa Penida island in Indonesia and compared our tourist infested experience with the “isolated and secluded” photos from a number of famous instagrammers.

I started shutting out the noise on Facebook. Rather than unfriending people, which I find kind of mean, I simply upped my privacy settings and MUTED anyone who I found irritating.

I unfollowed pages that brought no value and put off notification posts from groups that were not relevant to my growth and happiness.

Truth be told, I’m not on FB very much these days anyway which makes my life much easier.

I started saving posts that made me happy or that made me think. I now literally have thousands of posts to look through that I know will leave me feeling inspired and laughing. I must say that Tony the Hippo features heavily. If you haven’t seen this little guy, you really should click here. His little face kills me!

This is easy to do on Instagram and Facebook but I do it mostly on Instagram because that’s basically where I live. Pinterest, of course, is the be all and end all of post saving.

 

How Much Time We Spend

Statistics say that the average person spends 136 minutes PER DAY on social media. I find that absolutely shocking but somehow not very surprising. Instagram has this new(ish) feature that tracks how much time you spend on the app.

Take a look how much time I spend on Instagram per day this last week (also, what the fuck happened on Friday?)….

Check out your stats by looking at the “Your Activity” section on Instagram and let me know your stats. Let’s cringe together 😉

So how do we spend less time online and more time offline?

Timers – this is a pretty basic idea but it really does work. Instagram has a timer right below your usage statistics so that you can at least be aware of how much time you’ve been wasting.

Make It More Difficult to Access – log out of all your social media accounts and mute all notifications for when you are logged in. That way you won’t be tempted to “quickly” check that meme you’ve been tagged in.

Change Your Passwords – this is an extreme one but I’ve actually made my husband change our Netflix password before work and not tell me what it is. This was in an effort to get more work done and it did actually work.

Turn Your Phone Off Completely – this one is pretty self-explanatory

Stop Messaging Your Friends – okay don’t stop completely but, every once in a while, drop by for a visit or give them a call instead. Make your social interactions more personal whenever you can. Heck, write them a letter for a change. I love stationary and getting mail that isn’t a bill.

So while social media might be making you sick now, you can turn it all around by focusing on what you post, who you follow and how much time you spend online. It truly can become a place that supports and empowers you with a little more curation and attention to detail.

Have you implemented any of my tips? Let me know how it went!

Filed Under: Soul

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tara says

    February 3, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    Great post. In an Insta Live the other day Matt suggested unfollowing 90% of the accounts you follow. I did it and it’s been so good! Saved me loads of time endlessly scrolling till I’ve caught up. Sure it will be better for my mental health too as they were mostly people I didn’t know living supposedly perfect lives.

    Reply
    • thehappymrsjones says

      February 4, 2019 at 5:06 am

      YES! Exactly. I am still in the process of unfollowing but, once you start looking for the good accounts, there are a lot of NEW ones to follow!! HAHA! The more I look into it, the more I realize just how beneficial our social media can be when we use it properly.

      Reply
  2. Trina says

    February 4, 2019 at 3:06 am

    Love the article! I’m adding the instagram timer as soon as I’m done this comment!!!

    Reply
    • thehappymrsjones says

      February 4, 2019 at 5:07 am

      Thanks so much, Trina! I don’t know about you, but now that I’ve officially launched the blog I have to work even harder to manage my social media time.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Let’s Hang Out :)

Facebook
Facebook
fb-share-icon
Pinterest
Pinterest
fb-share-icon
Instagram
Follow by Email
RSS
Get new posts by email

More Posts You Might Like…

  • The Milkshake Meltdown- Is Dairy Impacting Your Depression?
    In Body
    February 5, 2019
  • 5 Ways to Prevent a Depressive Episode
    In Mind
    January 29, 2019
  • Rising To The Surface {creative non-fiction}
    In Creative Non-fiction
    January 14, 2019
  • The Only Way Is Through {creative non-fiction}
    In Creative Non-fiction
    December 31, 2018
  • 6 Ways To Keep Depression From Destroying Your Marriage
    In Soul
    February 21, 2019

thehappymrsjones

🇨🇦 mental health + dogs + coffee ☕️
✍🏼 print & broadcast journalist
💍to @theinspiredmrjones
📌Loving & living in Flagstaff County

Happy, happy, happy birthday to the absolute love Happy, happy, happy birthday to the absolute love of my life! You are all the beautiful things life has to offer wrapped up in just one person. I love you with my whole heart and there isn't a day I don't feel grateful and lucky to be your wife. You are more than I ever even hoped to find. 

Your compassion, honesty, work ethic, integrity, talent, humour, and sense of adventure are incredible. More than anything, your drive to protect those that need protecting makes me so proud. You truly are a gift to the world.

Your 35th year is going to be a big one. You're only just getting warmed up and I can't wait to see where you go. 

One thing is for sure, I'll be right by your side cheering the loudest and helping the most to make sure all of your dreams come true.

Happy birthday, my love. Here's to many, many more years!!!
I know a couple of people who are having trouble v I know a couple of people who are having trouble verbalizing their emotions and who are struggling right now. That's ok. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Getting healthy and looking after yourself is the most important thing. 

I struggled for so long. I had a great support system but it was still hard as hell battling depression. I know that this pandemic has brought a lot of people back to a sad and dark place (myself included - every day is different). Don't hide there. Push those feelings into the light and ask for help. Give yourself a chance to have a happy life 💕 This won't last forever even if it feels like it might.

I once read that you don't have to feel hopeful about the future. Some days it's enough to just be curious. Please, if you're having thoughts of self-harm reach out to someone - anyone. You are valuable. There is hope for us all.
One year ago we released our first documentary. Th One year ago we released our first documentary. This trip was one of the toughest experiences of my life but it was also one of the best. I was lucky enough to fall in-love with my best friend along the way. 

So proud of you @theinspiredmrjones today and every day. You have improved and developed such an incredible amount since we started this journey five years ago. This work is amazing but your work NOW is even better. 

You continue to surprise me and I am SO excited for what's ahead. You are talented beyond what you realize and I am so grateful to have a creative partner that inspires, pushes and supports me like you do. The best is yet to come. That I know for sure.

Posted @withregram • @theinspiredmrjones It’s the one year anniversary of our documentary!!! Such a challenging project in so many ways but I couldn’t be prouder of what we made. 

#Repost @inspiredrisk with @get_repost
・・・
We can’t believe it’s already been one year since the release of our first feature-length documentary, The Unjust & Us. 

The response has been incredible and we’re still so proud of this project. If you haven’t seen it, make sure to check the link in our profile. 

#documentary #africa #elephant #poaching #antipoaching #adventure #contesa #cycling #biking #travel #southafrica #botswana #zambia #malawi #tanzania #kenya #cyclingadventure #film #movie #oneyearanniversary #theunjustandus #proud
This is exactly over us right now. I feel like 202 This is exactly over us right now. I feel like 2020 is just plain f*cking with us now 😳
Today we said goodbye to our Goofy. He was the kin Today we said goodbye to our Goofy. He was the kindest animal we have ever met and he brought so much happiness into our lives. 

As most of you know, we rescued him in Singapore almost three years ago and later brought him home to Canada. When we adopted him we knew he would come with a lot of old man problems. We knew we wouldn't have forever because of his bad heart (and numerous other ailments) but our goal was to save his life and make his last few years great ones. He gave us even more than we could give to him.

He had a lot of issues - bad heart, terrible ear infections, a torn paw, a testicular tumor and terrible teeth but he NEVER complained or snapped when he was hurting. He was always kind and gentle, somehow knowing we just wanted to help. Even at the end, he was the "bestest" boy on the planet. The downhill happened very quickly. He suddenly stopped eating and couldn't walk properly anymore. He was so lethargic and weak at the end that we couldn't see him suffer any longer. 

Today we went to the vet to put him to rest. I made the appointment yesterday and found out our amazing family vet @iberedvm was fully booked. We would have to say goodbye with another vet but we understood.

When we arrived we saw Ileana walk out of the clinic to greet us. She had moved her schedule around when she saw Goofy was in the appointment book so she could be with all of us. I burst into tears. It was one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me and it made everything so much easier. It feels so good when someone loves your pet like you do. It feels so comforting when they matter to someone else too.

We all sat around him on a grassy patch and said our goodbyes. Beesley was there too. He went so peacefully that there was no question it was his time. Afterward we just sat with him and cried.

Goodbye our sweet boy. Find Ellie, Austin & Asha at the rainbow bridge and wait for us. Thank you for your unconditional love. I am so glad you can finally be free ❤️
👉🏼 note to self 👈🏼 👉🏼 note to self 👈🏼
Some flowers from our garden (these ones were abou Some flowers from our garden (these ones were about to be killed by the lawnmower so I saved them).
Elijah McClain was a 23 year old who played violin Elijah McClain was a 23 year old who played violin for cats at the animal shelter on his lunch break. He was a good and kind person who was murdered by police who injected him with ketamine. No one deserves this - "good" or not. Read his words that were recorded. Hear them. Tell me you wouldn't burn down all the cities in the world if this was your child. LIE TO ME and say you'd protest with nothing but love.
About sums it up About sums it up
So much emotion 💕 So much emotion 💕
You're either on the right side of history or you' You're either on the right side of history or you're not. It's that simple. As a journalist and as someone who spent part of her youth growing up in Apartheid South Africa, I don't want to hear white rationalizations about what's been happening. If you're not angry, you're not paying attention. Thanks to @crystalbrownd for posting this.
IF YOU ARE NOT ANGRY, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION IF YOU ARE NOT ANGRY, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

Posted @withregram • @enews We 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 to be better than this moment. ❤️ (🎥: @etherundown)
💕 💕
Instagram post 17895694342520254 Instagram post 17895694342520254
Happily sleeping... Happily sleeping...
Follow on Instagram

Archives

  • December 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018

Copyright © 2021 · Wellness Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in